Refined Love
Refined by Marriage Part 2
In Luke, chapter 10 Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan. He tells the story in response to a lawyer who asked Jesus, 'Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus, in his typical fashion responds to the lawyer's question with an additional question. Jesus asks the lawyer, "What is written in the Law? How do you read it?" The lawyer responds to the question, saying that you should love God with everything you have and love your neighbor as yourself. The Lawyer then asks who his neighbor is, which is the question that evokes the good Samaritan story. If you haven't read it, I recommend you do. It's a great and challenging story, especially when you consider how much the Jewish people of the time despised Samaritans.
What does this have to do with Marriage? The simple answer is everything.
It is easy for a young, love-struck couple to look past the faults of their spouse in the early days of marriage, which seems only natural. But soon the couple find themselves struck by two things. First they find that their spouse's faults are a little more difficult to ignore than they originally thought. Then (and this second one can happen either quickly or slowly, depending how stubborn he or she is) they find that their own faults are at the very same time less lovable than they first assumed.
Once this reality sets in and is met with the appropriate honesty by both parties (honesty that both are imperfect), something can happen. The husband and wife can choose to love each other despite each other's faults because they've decided to be honest about their humanity together.
It's in this context of a committed relationship that two people, doing their best to love each other, can find out how challenging the act of love actually is. They also find that the act of love, despite those imperfections, can still be beautiful and good and utterly worthwhile.
Marriage is an opportunity to understand that though we may dearly love someone, it is difficult to love that someone perfectly, and that someone, who we love, is more than likely not perfectly lovable.
But in doing our best to love them anyway and be lovable through our own actions, we have taken a significant step forward in understanding what it means to love our neighbor.
This is no small step in refining our love to be more like the type of love that Jesus commands us to have.
In Luke, chapter 10 Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan. He tells the story in response to a lawyer who asked Jesus, 'Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus, in his typical fashion responds to the lawyer's question with an additional question. Jesus asks the lawyer, "What is written in the Law? How do you read it?" The lawyer responds to the question, saying that you should love God with everything you have and love your neighbor as yourself. The Lawyer then asks who his neighbor is, which is the question that evokes the good Samaritan story. If you haven't read it, I recommend you do. It's a great and challenging story, especially when you consider how much the Jewish people of the time despised Samaritans.
What does this have to do with Marriage? The simple answer is everything.
It is easy for a young, love-struck couple to look past the faults of their spouse in the early days of marriage, which seems only natural. But soon the couple find themselves struck by two things. First they find that their spouse's faults are a little more difficult to ignore than they originally thought. Then (and this second one can happen either quickly or slowly, depending how stubborn he or she is) they find that their own faults are at the very same time less lovable than they first assumed.
Once this reality sets in and is met with the appropriate honesty by both parties (honesty that both are imperfect), something can happen. The husband and wife can choose to love each other despite each other's faults because they've decided to be honest about their humanity together.
It's in this context of a committed relationship that two people, doing their best to love each other, can find out how challenging the act of love actually is. They also find that the act of love, despite those imperfections, can still be beautiful and good and utterly worthwhile.
Marriage is an opportunity to understand that though we may dearly love someone, it is difficult to love that someone perfectly, and that someone, who we love, is more than likely not perfectly lovable.
But in doing our best to love them anyway and be lovable through our own actions, we have taken a significant step forward in understanding what it means to love our neighbor.
This is no small step in refining our love to be more like the type of love that Jesus commands us to have.
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